Growing up, I lived in a neighborhood where everyone knew everyone else. Some worked together in the local steel mill, some were the same nationality, some went to the same church and many were the relatives or friends of others in the neighborhood.
Because this was such a closely knit community, most families had the same values in common. Values, that they instilled in their children both through their words and their deeds. They believed that “actions speak louder than words” when it comes to setting a good example for children.
We were taught to be honest, tell the truth, stay out of trouble and to show respect to all people and their property.
The Playground
The children in our neighborhood all went to the same elementary school, in the heart our community. We all knew each other and had gone to school together from day one. After dinner, chores, and homework (we didn’t have near as much homework as the kid’s do today), we would gather at the school playground to play kick-the-can, hide-and-seek and basketball or stickball.
We would sometimes play until the curfew sounded at 9:00 p.m. in the summer months or until the street lights came on in the winter months. Those were the reminders that it was time to go home, and if you didn’t, you were in big trouble!
Owning Up!
One day, we were playing stick-ball and one of my friends accidentally hit a ball into a neighbor’s window (we called her Mrs. D) and broke it. He was “scared to death” that he would be in big trouble with his father, so he took off running; as did all my other friends right behind him. But, I just stood there knowing that I would be in even bigger trouble if I took off running like the others.
There was no one at home at Mrs. D’s house, so I decided to go home and tell my father what happened when he got home from work. When I told him, he didn’t yell or scream at me (he never did), he just said that he and I would go to Mrs. D’s house, apologize to her for the damage that we caused and repair the broken window.
The Lesson
I asked my father why the other kids were not being held responsible, especially since I was not even the one who broke the window. He told me that “you must always do the right thing, even when others don’t.” He never asked me who actually broke the window or who else was there with me. But, since he knew all the kids that I played with on a regular basis, I guess he didn’t have to ask.
I was given extra chores to help pay for the window, My dad said that we were all playing too close to the neighbor’s house, and should not have been there in the first place, therefore, we were all equally responsible. But, he did let me know how proud he was of me for coming forward with the truth. And when my dad was proud of me for anything, it really meant a lot to me!
A New Window
My father repaired the window the next day, and as it turned out, Mrs. D told the other parents what had happened. After talking to my father, all the other parents chipped in to pay for the window and their children had to own up to Mrs. D and apologize for their actions. My friends were all brought to our house by their parents, to thank my father for doing all the work to fix the window. They were also given extra chores to pay their parents back for the cost of replacing the window.
This is but one tale of how I learned integrity and values as a child, and how good character is instilled in children by their parents and their community. There are other tales that I hope to share with you in the near future.
Please feel free to share your personal stories or thoughts with us. I look forward to hearing from you!
